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Monday, October 19, 2009

The Tale of the No Gift-Givers

"You have a year to give a wedding gift".

We want to know who came up with that one. It has become common knowledge that a bride and groom can expect to wait up to a year to receive a gift from some guests. When you go to a wedding no one may have to wait a year to receive your meal (even though at some weddings by the time dinner is served it feels like a year has passed).

Honestly people...if you go to a wedding...give a gift, sooner rather than later.

If you are unable to attend you may have a little more wiggle room, but still does it really take a year to send a gift?!?! If you can't get it together to send a gift in a reasonable amount of time, you are lazier than the contestants on the first week of The Biggest Loser. Ok so we have established the fact that some people are lazy, but eventually do send a gift.

What about the people who attend the wedding and NEVER send a gift? Aren't these people technically wedding crashers that you happen to know?

We know you 'no gifters' are out there and we have a question for you feel guilty?
Do you think it's ok to not give a gift?

I honestly would love to have Maury do a show with some of you to hear your confessions (he really needs to move away from the who's my baby's daddy thing anyway). I know this sounds like a rant, but I bet that every bride out there can name at least one person who came to her wedding and failed to give a gift. Gifts do not have to be expensive or lavish, it could be as simple as sending the bride and groom a framed photo or invitation. When you do not give a gift, it is almost as if your friend is paying you to attend her wedding...actually, it's exactly that!! Someone is paying for you to have an enjoyable night of dinner and dancing, in celebration of their marriage....shouldn't you have the decency to at least thank them for the hospitality?

Give gifts. Enough said.


Jill and Lauren said...

I love this post. People who attended Lauren's wedding and were no-gift givers...we know who you are...send her a gift! and this is a threat for my wedding :)


The Thirty-Something Bride said...

Aaaah, I'm not so sure about this one...

My wedding was this Sunday and we have received lots of gifts, but not one from everyone. And that is WAY okay with me. Why? Because we decided to have this wedding for us. We wanted our friends and family there to help us celebrate and witness our day. We did not invite anyone just to get a gift.

About 90% of our guests were from out of town. It took a lot of time and energy and financial commitment for them to get here. That, in and of itself, was gift enough.

Perhaps we should all try to keep this in mind when we wed. Abandon tradition and keep the spirit of family, community and love at the forefront?

My two cents.

bridelines said...

But...what about those people who did not travel or have any financial obligation to get to your wedding?

Anonymous said...

I have been a year later gift giver. The reason, in my case, was that I found the most perfect Vera Wang vase and ordered it, only to get an e-mail a week later that it was back ordered and they would send it soon. A year later it finally was sent after several angry - you SOBs charged my credit card phone calls.

The best part was they didn't include a gift card. Not until I called the bride a couple of weeks later did they know it was from me. Ack!

landlocked bride said...

While I agree with your post, it is also important to keep in mind that you are NOT required to give a gift. It is just a nice gesture. So, as a bride (or groom), don't be upset if you don't get a gift. Your wedding should not be about getting gifts, but celebrating the new start in your life.

Financial/travel obligations or not, you should not expect every guest to get you a gift. You should be thrilled to be celebrating your new marriage, not worried about whether or not you got that standmixer you registered for.

Anonymous said...

Our Friends had their wedding three weeks before ours and we attended and gave them a generous gift. Then came our wedding they show up, took full advantage of our open bar (we had to pay at their wedding) and not so much as a card.