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Saturday, October 3, 2009

Where and When...and for Whom?

When choosing a location and date for your wedding there are many factors to consider.

Will it be too hot or too cold?
Will there be a hurricane or a thunderstorm?
Will your friends travel out of town for your wedding?
Will your guests be forced to pay for a hotel?
Are you parents demanding it be in your childhood town?
Or maybe worst of all…will too many people say “yes” if your venue is close by?

This is how the situation usually plays out...

You choose a date and location and you are all giddy and excited. Then you decide to tell people. You sit in silence for 5 minutes as your (friend, family members, coworker) tells you all the reasons why that date or location doesn't work for them. Some common complaints are…they have another wedding that day, or its their child’s birthday or they have plans the night before or the flights are really expensive that time of year. After their 5 minute rant has ended, this phrase ultimately comes out of their mouth -
“You should do what is best for you.”

Does that phrase have any meaning?
Is any decision in this wedding process really what is best for you?

Here at Bridelines, we encourage being considerate of your friends, but that doesn't mean checking with your friends which Saturday nights are open for them for the next year. It also doesn’t mean not having your wedding a flight away if that is what you want.

However, it does mean that understanding what is best for you may not be best for everyone else and thus, people might not be able to attend - because of prior obligations or financial reasons.

And you know what? That is ok.

This wedding is about you and Mr. Husband to be. The people that mean the most to you will find their way there, in the rain, on the plane, on their birthday. What is best for you is not worrying about what is best for everyone and ultimately being confident that the wedding will be everything you dreamed it would be.

***A helpful reminder to friends and family…vocalize your opinions/complaints on Bridelines or to your other friends (although group gossiping sessions should be kept to a minimum). Don't complain to the bride. It is never a good idea and somehow no one ever seems to remember that!***


lfabianus said...

So true. The bride has a tough job, and even though her friends and family probably don't mean any harm, it's still hard to hear their criticisms.

streetsmart said...

i agree. while decisions and preparations may not always agree with most or some of your guests, you and your husband should always be the firsts ones in your priority. besides, it's your wedding. you still have the final say in every detail.