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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

"Will You Be My Bridesmaid" Dilemmas

So...you're Katherine Heigel in "27 Dresses." You are (or were) everyone's best friend. Throughout your life you kept in touch with your elementary school friends, high school friends, camp friends, sorority sisters, co-workers, kickball teammates, and you have a few sisters and some close cousins. When all your friends and family got married (going back as far as 10 years), you were the go-t0-girl. These friends NEEDED you try to hundred of dresses, walk down the aisle and hold their dress up while they peed. Before we get to the dilemma, we applaud you for your patience and dedication to your friends.

However, it’s finally your wedding (yay) and as you sit down to think about who you will ask to be your bridesmaids, you realize that:

1. you have way too many and it will be very uneven with your fianc├ęs
2. you have way too many and 14 girls doing the matchy-matchy thing is tacky
3. you have way to many and a lot of these girls are no longer your close friends (or maybe you were never that close)

What do you do when you don't want to ask someone to be a bridesmaid, but you have already stood up in their wedding?

This is not an easy situation because ultimately someone’s feelings may get hurt. However, you know the personalities of each girl and you know who will be offended and who will understand. We think that if one of the girls who made you a bridesmaid still thinks you are best friends (even if you never were) and she will be very hurt if you do not ask her, its best for your own sanity to ask her to be your bridesmaid. She will be honored and probably be really helpful and appreciative. As you learn at a young age, sometimes it’s easier to do what is best for other people even though this wedding is about you and the choice of bridesmaids should be yours and only yours.

But...really...are there decisions that are ever really only yours?


On the other hand, there are those friends who would agree that you've grown apart and when you stood up for them your lives were in different places. Maybe she was a work friend and now you don't work in that office or maybe she was a sorority sister who got married right after college and now that she's moved away, you only speak once every few months. These are the types of girls who will likely understand that you are not as close anymore and they will appreciate just being invited to the wedding and watching you walk down the aisle.

Bridelines Overall Thoughts...
Be sensitive to your friend's feelings and not because it is the "nice friend" thing to do, but because sometimes when you do what you want (even when you are allowed to be selfish), it causes drama, tears and you'll end up having to deal with more stress than you would otherwise. If you really feel strongly about not asking someone, stick to your guns and although the friend might not be so happy on the offset, in the long run...if she’s a caring and mature friend…she should understand.

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