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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Bridal Shower Rant

Bridal Showers.

Were they invented by the same gift-receiving geniuses who created Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy?

Yet another way for your friends to spend money on you!

To no surprise, bridal showers are mostly an American custom. No other country is as obsessed with gifts or rituals where the main goal is to tell a bride how wonderful she is - as she thanks all her mother’s friends for every candlestick, picture frame and serving platter that she ordered for herself.

Do you know anyone who really enjoys attending showers (when it's not your own)? From our research, the bridal shower seems one of the more dreaded events of the wedding process (right next to holding up the bride's gown while she pees).

Not surprisingly, most women would rather spend their weekend doing a number of things (including watching their boyfriend follow his fantasy teams online while serving him nachos and beer) rather than watching a friend open 200 gifts and having fake conversations with women you’ve never met. But, as with our other wedding related obligations, we are required to spend a Sunday making hats out of ribbons and playing bridal bingo.

What's the deal with bridal bingo? Do we really have to compete over who knows the bride best? What does her favorite food or color have to do with her decision to walk down the aisle?

For anyone attending a bridal are some thoughts regarding gifts.

DO NOT make opening gifts difficult.

Please don’t wrap a box, in a box, in a box, in a box! It is not a fun game. The bride is going to spend too long opening presents-as her grandmother is snoring in the corner and her friends are drinking Bellini’s, hoping to pass the time.* Do not do anything to your gift that will require more than the quick read of a card and the voracious tearing of wrapping paper.

DO think of creative gift ideas.

Recipe books are a great idea. Have all the bridesmaids write down recipes and buy something cooking related with it or buy the couple a cooking class. Gift certificates for restaurants for the couple to use on their honeymoon or activities for the couple to do while on their honeymoon are also nice ideas – wine tasting, golf, scuba.

The way we see it….bridal showers are like adult tea parties. No, not the type of tea parties that exists in England with scones – the type you have when you are 8 years old with imaginary muffins and tiny saucers filled with imaginary chamomile tea. Just as you were the only one having fun at your imaginary tea party....chances are you (and maybe your mother and siblings) are the only one having fun at your shower. **

* Please note, we highly recommend that you serve alcohol at your shower. While your mother may think it's tacky, your friends will be much more fun and willing to participate after a bloody mary and a mimosa! This is a guarantee.

** Sorry for the negativity, but come on ladies....even if you had a bridal shower and it was great, you know in the back of your head you agree!


Kelley at My Island Wedding said...

I laughed out loud reading this!!! Awesome. (I held up my own dress when I pee-d... I think everyone was conveniently gone!!!)

Thanks for the twitter follow and the laughs!

The Professional Bridesmaid said...

Awesome post. If I have to spend one more weekend afternoon cleaning up present wrapping while simultaneously writing down a list of gifts the brides gets...I will SCREAM.

MOB Kathy said...

This MOB does not think alcohol at a shower is tacky ... I think it should be MANDATORY!!! Everyone had great fun last month at a couples shower that had a keg and a margarita machine! Cheers!

Anonymous said...

I was just invited to a shower of a person I didn't even know. It was my husband's former intern's Fiancée. I think i meet her once. I think it was a shameless ploy for a gift. No one enjoys going a bridal shower, much less one where you don't know the person or anyone else there. Of course because I was invited, I feel obligated to send a gift.

randi said...

well done girls!
i agree with all of your points.
showers are the epitome of lame!!!!!
if you have to have a shower-and you don't want your friends complaining behind your back-have it on a week night. I've been to one shower which was on a Tuesday night at like 7. It was much less inconvenient and more enjoyable for the guests involved. (well at least the ones in their 20s).

Catholic Bride said...

I really believe that Bridal Showers are the perfect chance for family and friends to honor the bride-to-be by sharing the characteristics and traits that she has that will really make her marriage successful.

I've really enjoyed showers at which the gifts were themed, such as assigning each person to a different month of the year for getting tablecloths, or a different picture to put in their living room, or collecting recipes and putting them into a book for the bride. These are low-cost items. And the brides appreciate heartfelt guestures... not price tags. Even if the registry has high-tag items.

For those who barely know the bride, it's okay to decline the invitation. Normally the bride is not in on the list of who will attend and who will not, and rarely do they check to see why the declined invitations could not make it.

Vargas-Gonzalez said...

Ah this can go both ways. It started with older women giving advice and heirlooms to the bride to be. Over the years it has gotten more modernized and gift giving has become popular. But yet again even when it wasn't this whole gift registry idea we were all taught to never go to someone's home or party empty handed so this registry was just waiting to happen. You don't always see people give a gift especially for bachelor parties because people give a large sum at the wedding. It also depends on what type of event we are talking about bridal showers and bachelorettes are two different things. Bridal showers are more rated G how they were back in the days with laughs and giggles. Bachelorettes are more raunchy with strippers involved. Since I do Passion Parties I see many different types of bachelorettes/bridal showers but in the end its about the Girls Night Night.

Its just a great excuse to get the girls all together and have a great time, gift or no gift, its about the bride and I don't think the bride will be thinking about gifts that night. I know I didn't, my focus was having a good time and making memories of my "last night". I had a bridal shower my mom and sister did for me and then my sorority sisters threw me a Bachelorettes.

At least we don't have to make up some character for the event like Santa, you need a bride!

Nice post, I've subscribed to your blog!

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more. I HATE bridal showers and make every excuse NOT to go to any of them. When I was a bride, I did not have a bridal shower for these very reasons.

Also I didnt have bridesmaids at my wedding either. I thought my friends would appreciate NOT having to spend $200 on some ugly pink dress they would never wear again. A real friend wouldnt ask you to do that, would they?! :-)