My Vows

So, I’ve officially moved over from bridesmaid to bride (at least for the next year). We got engaged in Cinque Terre, Italy in our adorable villa which overlooked the town. "The fiance" proposed at 5am after a coughing fit - I guess he couldn't wait! What really happened was I ruined his master plan the night before because I got moody and was not feeling well.

At least it showed me that he knows this is for better OR FOR WORSE.

Then we went to the beach to see the sun rise and I skipped down the cobblestone streets and stared at my hand for an hour straight. Here are some pictures of the views. I will spare you the pictures of me doing the happy (ugly) cry and definitely not show the video he took of me 3 minutes after it happened where I was jumping on the bed.

Since I have ridiculed every bride and made fun of almost every aspect of the wedding process - I know, I'm under scrutiny. I really need to take a good look at what I ask of my friends and how I present myself.

Below are my vows. No…not those vows.

These are my vows to my friends…

I vow...to not make you wear a ridiculous colored dress that will sit and gather dust in your closet. I tend to wear black almost everyday, so why make my wedding day any different.

I vow... to not force you to purchase special shoes or jewelry. However, this means you must wear black shoes…don’t try and be cute and wear hot pink trendy shoes.

I vow... to not ask you to spend what would have been your bonus on me for my bachelorette party, bridal shower or any other events. (too bad most of us didn't get bonuses this year).

I vow... to make my registry user-friendly – meaning the gifts will cost reasonable amounts and the registry hopefully won’t run out of options. HINT-gift certificates and creative activities are great gifts. Also...”the fiancé” wants a waffle maker.

I vow... that I will not become one of those brides where every conversation I have until the day of my wedding must refer to my wedding – except maybe to my cousin who is also recently engaged!

I vow... that I will not be a hypocrite, ruin my friendships or hurt my Bridelines reputation! After all, those "Skinny Bitch" women are famous because they are still skinny (and bitchy?).

I am so excited to share this journey with all of you!

Advice to MOH!

Being asked to be a Maid of Honor is well…literally…an honor, but attached to that role comes scrutiny and responsibility. Many times the MOH is a sister so even though she isn't exactly hand-picked (also might not be the best person for the job), by virtue of shared genes, she is tapped as the leader. She is the General. Her main job is planning the bachelorette party, so this post is for every maid of honor or bachelorette-planner bridesmaid.

When the planning begins, as the planner, you should email all the bridesmaids asking what date works and what type of event should be planned. The brides likes/dislikes should be seriously considered (duh, it's for her) and the COSTS that all her friends will endure should also be seriously considered. If the bride is your sister, we know you have no problem dropping money on her, but if she is your friend and you already have 4 other bachelorette parties that year, the costs become excessive, unmanageable and plain depressing for your bank account. This part of the planning should be an open discussion, but do not let it marinate forever.

Get opinions and make a decision!

As the MOH, the bride’s friends are generally scared to put down your ideas and no one wants to sound too negative. If you didn't know this already, we are telling you. No girl wants to sound like debby downer, but these girls are also complaining behind your back…or to us!

THINK THINGS THROUGH…put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

Bachelorette parties are not democracies. Not everyone’s opinion matters. As the planner, you should NOT be asking for everyone’s opinions. You should NOT be surveying the group on every small detail! And you should NOT be emailing everyone on minute by minute plans.

Why? Because honestly…no one cares. Asking opinions welcomes drama and disagreements. Just tell everyone the overall plan and do it in a concise and organized manner.

Don’t babble. Don’t be cute. Don’t be a maidzilla!

"Will You Be My Bridesmaid" Dilemmas

So...you're Katherine Heigel in "27 Dresses." You are (or were) everyone's best friend. Throughout your life you kept in touch with your elementary school friends, high school friends, camp friends, sorority sisters, co-workers, kickball teammates, and you have a few sisters and some close cousins. When all your friends and family got married (going back as far as 10 years), you were the go-t0-girl. These friends NEEDED you try to hundred of dresses, walk down the aisle and hold their dress up while they peed. Before we get to the dilemma, we applaud you for your patience and dedication to your friends.

However, it’s finally your wedding (yay) and as you sit down to think about who you will ask to be your bridesmaids, you realize that:

1. you have way too many and it will be very uneven with your fiancés
2. you have way too many and 14 girls doing the matchy-matchy thing is tacky
3. you have way to many and a lot of these girls are no longer your close friends (or maybe you were never that close)

What do you do when you don't want to ask someone to be a bridesmaid, but you have already stood up in their wedding?

This is not an easy situation because ultimately someone’s feelings may get hurt. However, you know the personalities of each girl and you know who will be offended and who will understand. We think that if one of the girls who made you a bridesmaid still thinks you are best friends (even if you never were) and she will be very hurt if you do not ask her, its best for your own sanity to ask her to be your bridesmaid. She will be honored and probably be really helpful and appreciative. As you learn at a young age, sometimes it’s easier to do what is best for other people even though this wedding is about you and the choice of bridesmaids should be yours and only yours.

But...really...are there decisions that are ever really only yours?

On the other hand, there are those friends who would agree that you've grown apart and when you stood up for them your lives were in different places. Maybe she was a work friend and now you don't work in that office or maybe she was a sorority sister who got married right after college and now that she's moved away, you only speak once every few months. These are the types of girls who will likely understand that you are not as close anymore and they will appreciate just being invited to the wedding and watching you walk down the aisle.

Bridelines Overall Thoughts...

Be sensitive to your friend's feelings and not because it is the "nice friend" thing to do, but because sometimes when you do what you want (even when you are allowed to be selfish), it causes drama, tears and you'll end up having to deal with more stress than you would otherwise. If you really feel strongly about not asking someone, stick to your guns and although the friend might not be so happy on the offset, in the long run...if she’s a caring and mature friend…she should understand.

The Cost of Being Your Best Friend

Whoever said that watching your best friend marry the man of her dreams is “priceless” was definitely not a bridesmaid.

A bridesmaid’s role is to be the emotional rock for the bride and along with that, bridesmaids are expected to attend every wedding event, irrespective of cost.

Brides...we know your big day has been planned since age 6 when the only important bank was your piggy bank, but times have changed and your friends are not recession proof. In case you haven’t thought about bridesmaid's costs (of course you haven’t, you are too busy worrying about squeezing that money out of your father’s wallet for the dress/flowers/tablecloths of your dreams), we are here to share the financial burdens your best friends will endure.

Engagement Gift: $50
Brideliners say: In a recession, if you don’t have party, don’t expect tons of gifts. As your best friends, we will get you a thoughtful gift. Wine tasting? Scuba lessons? Dance lessons?

Dress: $300
Brideliners say: Please choose a color and cut we can wear again. No, not the color that has been your favorite since you were playing with Barbies. That color is for your flowers. The color of the bridesmaid dress is a color we can wear again…of course unless you pay!

Alterations: $80
Brideliners say: Choose a dress that comes in “typical store” sizes. Less alterations the better.

Shoes: $70
Brideliners say: Pick a solid color and a simple style/fabric we might already have in our closet. If the dress is long and you won’t see the shoe…who cares, let us wear flip flops!

Strapless bra/Spanx or Other Contraptions: $40
Brideliners say: Making us buy a contraption created to hide side fat, fix lopsided boobs or show cleavage is an added cost that we may never wear again. It might make us feel self-conscious or maybe we our proud of our not-so-perfect curves! Find a dress where these aren’t necessary!

Bridal Shower Gift: $50
Brideliners say: This is part of the wedding rules – we know, we know.

Destination Bachelorette Party:
Flight to Mexico, Miami, etc: $300
Dinner 2 nights: $160
Drinks at a club 2 nights: $100
Decorations and Bridal Games: $20
Brideliners say: We love you and we love dancing on bars, but ouch…our poor bank accounts!

Home Town Bach Party: $150
Brideliners say: Reasonable for a dinner and a fun night out with the girls.

Hair: $80
Brideliners say: Brides, make sure your bridesmaids don’t feel pressured to get their hair done. We all want to have pretty curls when we are walking down the aisle, but sometimes we just can't afford it.

Make-up/Eye Lashes: $70
Brideliners say: Same as above. We don’t want to be the only bridesmaid without the eye-lashes or pretty lip gloss. An idea is to treat us by paying for makeup (or a wedding day hair style) for our bridesmaid gift! We will greatly appreciate it.

Spray Tanning: $40
Brideliners say: Some of us are pale. Get over it!

Wedding Gift: $250
Brideliners say: Without a plus 1, maybe $100, but since you’re our best friend, we upped the amount. Also, because when its our turn, you will give us the same back!

**These costs don’t include travel money for out-of-town weddings, costs for contributing to bridal showers as well as other extras.**

Now, there are no strict obligations to pay all these costs, but as your bridesmaids, it is expected that we participate in all events. Many bridezillas get angry at their bridesmaids for not attending every single thing and the last thing we want to do is get on your bad side during this process. Ultimately of course, it is not about the cost, but sharing these special times with your best friend.

However brides…just stop and think about it next time you are debating asking your bridesmaids to buy special shoes/jewelry or get a spray tan, it costs over $1,000 to be your best friend.

Rule #1: Never Leave a Fellow Crasher Behind

As we go through various life events we are given rules how to best approach each situation. We are told the simple recipes for getting a date, landing a job, losing weight. We are told from a young age that if we follow these rules we are doing the “right” thing.

However, there are no rules for wedding events and what is right and wrong usually depends on the brides hormones…which for most brides has more highs and lows than Britney’s career.

Our readers have asked...
“My friend is having an out-of-town shower, do I have to attend?”
“The bachelorette party is really expensive, do I have to go?”
“My friend is having 2 engagement parties, do I have to attend both?”

While we cannot say that our opinions at Bridelines are the end all of bridal opinions (although we'd like to think they are), we will give you our best advice. If you are a bridesmaid, you are expected to conform to certain bridesmaid standards, i.e. attending events, pretending to be really excited for every single of them, being emotionally and mentally supportive of bridal decisions and creating an artistic hat made out of wrapping paper.

However, the economy is awful and many people are out of jobs. We don’t all live in the same states. We think brides need to understand that their friends love them and want to attend everything, but sometimes it’s just unrealistic and too expensive. Please do not get mad at your friends for not attending things—if they have a good reason. The wedding is a must…but maybe the only must. If your bridesmaids are flying in for a wedding and attending a bachelorette party, they should get a pass on the shower. Brides, we know you want your friends there, so maybe they can be there via Skype.

Bachelorette parties are usually more fun than showers (sorry moms), so if your bridesmaids are choosing one, we suggest choosing the bach party. However, people who aren’t in your wedding party should feel NO obligation to spend the money to attend. We can all agree that large groups of girls are loud and overwhelming and these events usually go over better when you don’t invite every female on your guest list.

Friends, a cute thing to do is to send something to the event if you cannot attend. Send a bottle of champagne to the bachelorette dinner. Send flowers to the bridal shower. It will only take 10 minutes out of your life, and will make the bride really happy and show her that you are thinking about her during these special moments.

Moral of the story is…there is no “right” thing to do. High expectations only cause let-downs. Brides, don’t start fights with your friends…you’ve got enough fighting to do with your fiancé over invitations and with your mother-in-law over flowers.

Everyone has their own opinion of proper wedding protocol, so use your best judgment. If you know the bride really wants you to attend her bachelorette party, try and find a way. If you can’t…you can’t. If you do not have good judgment (some people just don’t), you can always
email us and we will give you our best advice.

Bridelines will help you maintain your friendship and manage expectations during
all these crazy wedding events!

Please send in any other questions about what is proper wedding protocol…

Wedding Guests: Who Gets a Plus 1?

Whether to invite friends with a plus 1 can become a very uncomfortable situation.

As the bride/groom, you are trying to manage costs wherever you can and inviting your single friend with a date usually doesn’t take precedent over adding extra dessert (although maybe it should because fyi...no one eats the dessert). There are no set rules when it comes to the plus 1 issue, but there are a variety of situations that should be considered.

Regardless, you are bound to have one friend that gets upset, so when this happens, remember Bridelines told you so.

If you are a bride/groom on a budget, you may want to make a rule that you are only inviting guests with dates who are married, engaged or you may want to stretch it to people living together.

Usually, brides/grooms invite those with dates who have a “serious” significant others. Serious, however, can be as difficult to interpret as Paula Abdul's American Idol comments. We all know those girls who think they have a boyfriend when they really don’t. Just because he writes you cute texts doesn't mean he is your boyfriend! If a guy is going to get awkward when you ask him to come to the wedding, you aren’t serious and maybe this is your wakeup call to move on.

Some very generous brides invite their whole bridal party with dates or invite many of their single friends with dates. It is necessary to invite a friend with a date when she is the only single friend in a group. Or in the case of a New Years Eve wedding, everyone should have the option to bring a date - this we know from personal experience! We think the best thing to do is to tell your close single friends that if they have someone they want to bring and have been dating, to inform you. This does not mean single girls should go on a man-hunt to find a date and please don’t hire a escort.

All the Single Ladies:

Remember this isn’t sorority formal. Dates aren’t necessary. Bringing someone (even when he is your serious boyfriend) requires you to be responsible for him and pay attention to him. You cannot run off with your girlfriends when you have a plus 1. Also, when you bring a date, you are blocking yourself from meeting other eligible bachelors.

Personally, we think weddings are fun when you go without a date. You get to spend time with your girlfriends and we all know a bride is happiest when she has all the attention. So, you and your friends can dance in a circle around the bride without having some guy watching over your shoulder.

What's your opinion on the plus 1 issue? Check out our survey on Bridelines.

A Toast To The Happy Couple

A best man once said…”I've heard that a best man speech should be as long as it takes for the groom to make love...so thanks everyone, enjoy the night”

Why is a best man speech usually so much funnier than a maid of honor speech?

And now that rehearsal dinners are the mandatory pre-game event, there are entire nights dedicated to men trumping women. With rehearsal dinners popping up as often as Internet photos of Adam Lambert, we thought it was important to inform women why their speeches are lacking the male pizazz. As women, we are bummed to make this sweeping generalization, but it is the truth.

The problem with many speeches by bridesmaids is that they are filled with cheesy quotes, off-beat rhymes or inside jokes. Cheesy quotes and poems were cute while you were making your Senior year collage, they were adorable for your sorority rush skit and are even still fitting for your parents anniversary gift.

However, listening to 6 girls alternating rhyming lines is even less enjoyable than that new Parks and Recreations show. Because a poem is made up of fragmented sentences, listening to it sounds like the teacher in Charlie Brown (wah wah wah). If we actually do hear what you are saying, we can bet it goes something like “we have been friends for so many years, through the laughter and through the tears.” By the time you get to sentence 4, everyone in the room has already stopped listening and asked for 2 more shots to numb the pain.

If you think you are a good poem-writer, and you can have someone other than your mom verify this, then you might be an exception to this “please don’t torture us with a poem” rule. We consider ourselves exceptions to the “no poem” rule, but only because we practiced for many years at camp, writing multiple alma maters/cheers and receiving compliments for our writing. So if you can write a good poem, please stand up there alone and recite it, use some witty humor and speak very slowly.

If you aren’t funny, which, 60% of you probably aren’t, we suggest you just be sweet and nice. Being sweet and complementary goes a lot farther than corny. Tell one nice story about your friendship with the bride and say what a lovely couple she makes with the groom. Complement them and hand the microphone to someone funnier.

For everyone, funny or not, tell stories that everyone can relate to. Be general and do not tell inside jokes. If you want to tell the bride/groom inside jokes, save it for the wedding card – or any other time when you aren’t in front of 50 people. Don’t be too inappropriate, its awkward for the grandmas.

Lastly, a big no-no - do not make the speech a personal attack on the bride/groom if you happen to not be their biggest fan and do not bring up unpleasant situations from the couple’s past. Wedding Crashers was totally on point - “ the whole funny-because-it's-true bit only works if the truth is a *small* thing like "everyone knows Jennifer likes to shop, ha ha ha".

Before deciding to have a rehearsal dinner, you should really evaluate your bridal party’s speech-giving capabilities. It might be the difference between a great night and a snoozefest.

Thank You For Being A Friend (Bridesmaid)

For the past year, your best friends and siblings supported your obsession with dresses, seating arrangements and save-the date cards. Your bridesmaids played silly games at your destination bachelorette party and summoned their artistic talent to create a “hat made of ribbons” at your bridal shower. Your big day is almost here and your bridesmaids will be there to help you bustle your dress and toast to your upcoming marriage.

To thank your bridesmaids for their help, patience and overall wonderfulness, you should buy them all a little something (or a big something).

We understand many brides are dishing out money for their weddings and the bridal party gift should never put any bride in a compromising monetary position, but brides should take into consideration the expenses their bridesmaids have endured. If your bridesmaids had to get on a plane or buy an expensive dress, it would be nice to spend a little more.

More importantly, the gift should be thoughtful. Since you’ve spent months thinking about yourself and the details of your weddings, we do think it’s reasonable for you to think about your friends’ likes/dislikes and demonstrate to them, via this gift, that you appreciate them dealing with your OCD and attending all the (required) events.

Here are some ideas we gathered from brides:

Always Appreciated

Buying bridesmaids dress. No one complains about a dress they didn't pay for.

Hair and makeup day of event. We all want to look pretty, but sometimes we don't want to pay.

Monogrammed Favorites

Monogrammed Velcro Shower Towels. We know a bride who gave this at her spa bachelorette party.

Monogrammed Beach Bag. We know a bride who gave this at her Mexican/Miami destination bachelorette party.

Monogrammed Aprons – We know a bride who gave this to her bridesmaids when they brought in a private chef at the bachelorette party. We suggest: http://www.taygalook.com/

The Trendy Gifts

Jewelry. Necklaces that are popular right now are the round plates with an initial on it – a nice extra is to write a message on the back.

Massage/Facial. We know a bride who went to lunch with all her bridesmaids after the wedding, and then all the girls went for their massages.

Juicy Sweat Suit. To wear while getting ready

Monogrammed Travel Makeup Cases.

Clutches, Wallets, Handbags.

Specialized For You

Digital Photo Frame. Put in images of bride and the friend (possibly from the wedding).

A Goody Bag with each girls name on it – and personalized goodies inside.

___ Of The Month. Can determine one for each friend (ex. some wine, some cheese, some choc pending on what they are into).

Gift Certificates. If you don’t have too many bridesmaids, get each a different gift that would work for them. Maybe gift certificates to their favorite store, or restaurant, personalized for each girl.

Bridelines Favorite Story!

“The bride to be took us to a store where you can select from several different bag styles, and hundreds of fabrics and we were told to pick out 1 bag from the mix and make it our own with whatever fabric we wanted. The space had been rented, so we brought food, champagne, music and spent a few great hours together at the store. On the wedding day, the bride handed out each out of our bags to us at the same time and read a poem that described the contents of the bag. She had filled them with everything you may want in a pocketbook – nail polish, nail files, Band-Aids, etc, as well as a bracelet she had made each of us (not with the expectation we’d wear it that night!) Best of all, she had sewn in a individual quote in each bag that represented the friendship between that person and the bride. Not only did we have fun making the bags, and get something that we know we’ll all like/use, but the bride put some special touches in each one.”

If you just got engaged and haven’t asked your bridesmaids yet, ask them with a “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” card.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23455581

Step 1: Admitting You Are A Bridezilla

Bridezilla: "A woman who, in the course of planning her wedding, exercises or attempts to exercise a high degree of control over all or many minor details of the ceremony and reception."

*please take this post in good humor. If you get offended easily, maybe you should stop reading…now…*

Based on stories sent in by our readers, we have consolidated some of our favorite bridezilla moments to share. If you have committed any of these bridal misdemeanors, by virtue of this post, you are now forgiven. Time has passed and your friends have decided to remain in your life – phew! We know your brain was invaded by pink flowers and lace dresses and for a one-year period (give or take a few months), but we still love you.

Making your bridesmaids go spray tanning.

Brideliners Say: Most of us know we look better tan and if you have a summer wedding, we will try to be tan for it. Not because you told us to, but because we are as self-absorbed as you are. BUT, if we want to be pale and we like the way we look, that is our decision. Also – caution, some people actually look worse after a spray tan…orange skin with pink dresses will clash.

Making your bridesmaids wear specific jewelry.

Brideliners Say: It can be nice to give your bridesmaids jewelry as a gift for their participation on your wedding day. But if you do so, try to match their individual personalities, or change the styles somewhat. 8 girls in brown dresses, matching shoes, matching earrings and bracelets belong in a 5th grade dance recital – not a beautiful wedding party.

Making a bridesmaid take off her necklace during the formal pictures because you liked hers better than yours.

Brideliners Say: We are going to let this one go and blame it on wedding day jitters. We will do what you ask because its your day, but seriously, calm down. No one can even see a necklace in a picture.

Making your bridesmaids all wear a specific nail polish color.

Brideliners Say: It’s understandable if you don’t want us wearing Wicked or have chipped nails, but if you are going to request a certain color, you can pay for the manicure. Give us some freedom, please.

Making your bridesmaids match their shoes with their dress.

Brideliners Say: The first consideration here is the length of the dress. If your dress is short, we might be sympathetic to your request. But please do not make these shoes costly, uncomfortable and ones we won’t ever wear again. If the dress is long and no one sees the shoes, what is the difference? More specifically, enough with the dyeable shoes – that was so 1985.

Making your friends view hundreds of dresses on the Internet.

Brideliners Say: Do not put your bridesmaids through the task of looking at every dress you like on the Internet. If you torture yourself by looking at pictures daily (which you probably do), don’t IM or email your friends with every picture. Bring some friends to an actual store to try the dress on and then send the final decision to those bridesmaids in other cities. Most of us just want to be told what dress to order.

Making a weekend out of every event.

Brideliners Say: It’s not your “engagement party weekend” or your “shower weekend” or your “bridesmaid dress shopping weekend.” Don’t expect your friends to come to town for an entire weekend and attend a big dinner the night before your shower. Leave this for family and celebrate with your friends the day of. While you have forgotten that you have a life during the bridal parade, your friends have other things to do with their time.

Making your bridesmaids wear a certain hair style.

Brideliners Say: Allow your bridesmaids to live freely and feel pretty as they are also standing up in front of all your guests. Don’t require up-dos, half up, hair off face, etc. Not only is this very controlling, but it may accent someone's big ears, especially if you make all your friends wear the same matching earrings.

Having multiple engagement parties.

Brideliners Say: We love parties, but this becomes a nuisance. We know so many people do this, because the couple throws a party and the parents throw a party, but we are going to buy you an engagement gift regardless, so one party is enough. Also, please do not have an engagement party closer to the wedding date than your engagement date. Now you are just taking advantage of us.

Making your bridesmaids wear a train.

Brideliners Say: Only the bride should be bustling her dress on her wedding day. This is costly, a hassle and hard to dance in. And just plain ridiculous.

Thank you for sending in your bridezilla stories. Continue to vent in the comment section! Don't forget to forward Bridelines posts to all bridesmaids and bridezillas in your life.

If you're a bride-to-be, please consider our Brideliner requests, after all, happy bridesmaids make a happy bride.

Creative Gift Ideas

Your good friend just got engaged. Your (insert here: sorority sister, camp friend, girl you’ve known since 2nd grade) spent a few Sunday afternoons dragging her fiancé through Bloomingdales and Williams Sonoma, lying to him and herself about all the cooking she will do in the future. She demanded a new Wok set, those trendy square plates that are too small and of course a set of fancy martini glasses. As we pointed out in our earlier blog, registering is an important part of the wedding process and most guests do buy gifts off of the registry. But, leave those gifts for their families, their parents' friends and for the people who truly lack a creative side.

If you are the MOH, bridesmaid or you are close friends with the newly engaged couple

STOP BEING LAZY AND BORING!

Take 20 minutes out of your precious time and think of a creative engagement gift! Think about how much better it is to get a gift you will really enjoy, instead of 6 out of a set of 12 glasses. But more importantly, when it's your turn, you will get a great gift in return.

Here are some Brideline ideas that vary in cost and cater to different personalities:

*we understand some ideas might be costly so chip in with some friends - don't spend all your money, you still have shower and wedding gifts to buy *

Date Night – For the couple who needs a night out. Get a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant (or one you would recommend) and tickets to an event (comedy club, movie tickets).

Weekend Vacation – For the couple who never takes a vacation. Get them a weekend away at a Bed and Breakfast or even one night in a hotel in the city they live in.

Activity for their Honeymoon – For the couple who has already planned their honeymoon. What is better than being on your honeymoon and still getting things for free? Book services at the hotel, such as massages, golf lessons, dinner gift certificate, scuba lessons, etc.

Private Chef – For the couple who loves to cook. Private chef will come to your apartment and show you how to cook meals. In NY, we recommend http://www.perrisplates.com/

Personal Stylist - For the couple who wants to look hot. Get them a gift certificate for salon services or personal shoppers. In Chicago, we recommend http://www.erincarpenter.com/

Dance Classes – For the couple too embarrassed to dance in public. We all know those guys with 2 left feet, and the girls who look like Elaine from Seinfeld in their wedding videos. Get the couple dance classes for the wedding.

Framed Piece of Art/Sculpture – For the artsy couple. Choose a piece of art you know the couple will love and have it framed. A gift they will have for the rest of their lives.

Engagement Photo Session – For the couple who loves to post Facebook photos. Many photographers offer engagement photo sessions, but if theirs doesn’t, buy them a set. No one likes to admit it, but everyone loves pictures of themselves.

Wine Classes/Wine of the Month/Wine Box of Firsts – For the couple that loves to drink. Get them a few wine tasting classes, a membership to a wine of the month club or pick out some wines and label them for every major occasion in their future. You can even include a set of glasses and a high tech corkscrew (people love those).

Spa Services - For the stressed out couple. Get them a couples massage.

Other (more reasonably priced) gift ideas: We recommend www.NatureScripts.com

Personalized stationary for all thank you cards

Ring Holders, Jewelry Cleaner, Wedding Magazines

Monogrammed photo album/engraved frames

Wedding Planner book/Wedding countdown calendar

Another Great Site for All Your Gift Needs

http://www.become.com/resource-center/wedding-gift-guide.html

Let's Hear it for the Boys!

Look no further for creative ideas that appeal to men. Men are part of this wedding process too! Check out:

www.themanregistry.com

The Man Registry not only has tons of gifts for your man, (electronics, barbecue grills and accessories, bar supplies, tools and outdoors gear and items from favorite sports teams) it also has wedding tips and advice for grooms and the groom's wedding party – tips on best man speeches, groom-friendly wedding shower ideas and bachelor party games. Check it out!

The Wedding Bailout Plan

Despite the failing economy, one thing remains constant - the wedding announcements in The New York Times Style Section. Weddings occur on every weekend of every year, no matter what the stock market says.

Here are some ideas to get you through wedding season without having to search for a bailout plan:

1. Borrow a dress from a friend. No cost, except it would be nice to dry clean it afterwards.

2. Chip in together with your friends for bridal shower gifts - get lingerie (maybe on sale) instead of candlesticks from the registry.

3. For wedding gifts - if you have any artistic talents, use them - such as painting a picture. If you can't draw a stick figure, find a great photo of the couple (learn how to use all of those photo applications on the MacBook you had to have) and have it mounted and framed.

4. Carpool to weddings, showers, engagement parties. If you don't have a car, use public transportation. Buses, trains and subways are available in all cities and who knows maybe you'll get hit on by someone other than a homeless person, you never know!

5. Just because you were invited with a date to a destination wedding, doesn't mean you have to bring one. Leave your husband home with the kids -leave your boyfriend home with the dog. The weekend is much cheaper when there is no plus 1.

6. For bachelorette parties - do one night in the city you live in and have every girl cook a dish. This way you will have a lot of food, can all get together in someone's apartment, eat and go out from there.

7. Have a bridal shower in a bridesmaid or family member's home. The cost of the venue is a large chunk and without this you can still afford to hire a caterer.

8. On the wedding day - don't get your hair and makeup done professionally. Honestly, since it is not your wedding, only you care how pretty you look (especially since you aren't bringing your plus 1) and for the money, we think you can get over it for a day.

Tell us how you have cut costs!

Picture from www.msnbc.msn.com

Always a Bridesmaid...

What would you do if your friend chose one of these bridesmaid dresses? We suggest you stop being friends with her, if you haven't already.

Bridesmaids,

We know the examples above are extreme -bordering on completely ridiculous - but they are real and someone thought they would make their pictures look good.

There are some very generous brides who pay for the bridesmaid dresses and those brides are allowed to choose whatever dress they want. However, since most of the time, you are paying, you should have some input.

Which dresses will you wear again? How much is a reasonable cost? Have you had to match shoes or jewelry? Who decided on the bridesmaid dresses - you or the bride?

We'd love any stories and photos of the good, the bad or the really bad (as long as your bride-friend will still talk to you afterwards).